Cooking Lessons
by DarkJediJade
Summary: Tarkin discovers the Academy does not teach cooking skills and brings his concerns before the Emperor... cooking lessons from Tarkin, Mara Jade and the Emperor himself ensue for many of the top Imps such as Daala, Pestage, and Isard. Cracky fic suffice to say.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: This piece is dedicated to __**Urotnik**__, who gave me the idea for this after my excited ramble of books I had got led to some confusion as to which books I was referring to that would help me write fan fic… and the idea of Imperial cooking lessons was sprung. It was just too goofy and fun to leave alone, so I wrote it. :)_

Tarkin sputtered in surprise at the admission he had just heard from his mistress. He admired her spirit and independence… but how in the galaxy could one be truly independent without such an essential skill. "How can you not know how to cook? I mean, what do you live on?" he asked. Daala shrugged lightly.

"I lived in an orphanage, then the Academy. Meals were always prepared. Where would I have learned?" she asked, her tone mildly annoyed. Tarkin sighed.

"I suppose that's fair, but the Academy should teach cadets these things." he said.

"Perhaps." Daala admitted "But I've never met anyone in the Empire besides you who knows how to cook. Everyone relies on ready meals or droids." she said. "I mean… I know how to boil topatoes… but that's about as far as my knowledge goes."

"Surely that can't be the case." Tarkin said. "I know for a fact his Majesty when time permits is a fine baker." Daala raised an eyebrow at that.

"The Emperor… bakes?" she asked surprised. "Well I suppose to be fair I don't know him very much at all. Certainly not like you do. I imagine much of his baking was done before he became Emperor, correct?" Daala inquired and Tarkin nodded. "I figured as much."

"Still surely there must be others." Tarkin said, giving the roasted root veggies a stir and checking on the roasting nerf steaks, before turning his focus back onto the curry sauce he was making for it.

"None of which I know of. Certainly can you imagine Ysanne Isard trying to cook? She'd probably get mad over the smallest issue with a recipe then burn down the kitchen in spite." Daala snorted at the mental image.

"Now now, that's exaggerating." Tarkin chided, but a small grin tugged at the corners of his lips. "Well if what you say is true, we shall have to remedy this… starting with you my dear."

"Me? You want me to cook?" she asked, mildly alarmed.

"Come now, it's not hard. After dinner I will teach you how to make a simple desert for us." Tarkin said and Daala eyed him skeptically. "After that we shall set course for Coruscant and confirm your suspicions. If they are indeed true, then we shall teach others."

"I've got a bad feeling about this." Daala sighed.

After their meal was finished, Daala hung back hesitantly. It wasn't that she was afraid of cooking… she just knew she would fail this task miserably. Her jokes about Isard aside, she knew her own temper was not much better. Her penchant for violence was what got her kicked out of the stormtrooper corps after all. Still she could not deny her lover as he motioned her into the kitchen. Taking a deep breath she followed. How bad could this be really? Cooking topatoes in the Academy kitchen hadn't been that hard… and Tarkin certainly made it seem easy enough. "Alright what am I doing?" she asked resigned. Tarkin indicated to a recipe on a data pad.

"We will be making cheffa cake." he said.

"That sounds… complicated." Daala sighed.

"Just follow instructions my dear and you will do fine." Tarkin instructed. "Now, this is a measuring cup." he said, handing her a cup marked with lines. "Use this to measure the correct amount of each ingredient into the bowl." he said. Daala frowned but did as she was told. "Now simply stir it until it is smooth, pour into the pan there after proofing it and place it in the cook unit at the correct temperature." Tarkin said. At that moment his comm began to beep. "You can manage the rest on your own, right my dear?" he asked and Daala nodded, not letting her uncertainly show. As he walked away it occurred to her she had no idea what he meant by proofing the pan. No matter, it didn't seem that important. Pouring the batter into the pan she eyed the recipe and set the cooker to the correct temperature. There that wasn't so hard. Nothing to it. She tried to figure out how to set a timer, but decided she would remember to retrieve the cake in the appropriate time and it wasn't worth the hassle. As Tarkin made his way back into the kitchen Daala smiled.

"Now we just wait while it cooks right?" she asked. Tarkin nodded.

"That's right." he said, pleased his instruction was going so well.

"So while we wait…" Daala said allowing her voice to trail off suggestively. Tarkin laughed appreciatively and gathered her into his arms.

"Just so." he said.

Daala was sprawled out contentedly when her bliss was disturbed by an acrid smell filling the air, and she noticed a slight haze to the air. Springing to alertness she cursed "Oh shavit!" as she flew towards the kitchen, Tarkin close on her heels.

"Why did the timer not go off?" he asked as Daala retrieved a slightly blackened cake from the cooker.

"I didn't set one…" Daala admitted "I thought I would remember, but then we… well it was rather distracting." she said.

"I see." Tarkin said eying the cake "Well we should be able to cut off the burnt sections and eat the rest." He assured her. As he tried to pry the cake from the pan he sighed "Are you sure you proofed the whole pan?" he asked. Daala looked down at her feet.

"I didn't know what proofing meant… so I didn't do it." she admitted. Abruptly the cake fell from the pan, leaving half of it behind, onto the waiting plate.

"Well, it's not bad for a first attempt." Tarkin said. "Perhaps I ought to enlist His Majesty's expertise in this matter." he said. Daala's eyes widened at that.

"Surely he is a busy man with more pressing matters." she said.

"What could be more pressing than ensuring those who help run the Empire have essential skills?" Tarkin countered. "We shall set our course for Coruscant, and I shall bring this matter to the Emperor's attention." he said, dressing and making his way towards the bridge.

Arriving on Imperial Centre, Tarkin made his way towards the Palace, with Daala following anxiously on his heels. She still had her doubts this was a good idea, or important enough to trouble the Emperor himself with, but Tarkin would not be swayed. Unlike many, he seemed not to fear the Emperor. Perhaps it was simple familiarity, but Daala was discomforted by his boldness in this case none the less. As they approached the Throne room doors, Tarkin inclined his head to one of the silent imposing Royal Guards. "I wish to speak with His Majesty about an issue which has come to my attention." he said. The guard stared at him silently for a moment then motioned them into the Throne room. Tarkin dropped into a bow and Daala followed suite.

"Rise." the Emperor commanded "What brings you here?" he inquired. His tone was friendly enough, but something about him still chilled Daala to the bone. Her lover appeared unaffected however.

"My protoge has brought to my attention a lack of any real culinary training within the Academy. How are our troops to win this war if they don't even know how to feed themselves without a mess hall handy?" Tarkin explained. Palpatine paused in thought for a moment.

"What would you have me do about it?" he asked, leaning back in the throne.

"Have a basic cooking program implemented in the Academy.. and perhaps ensure all of those within the upper ranks are able to as well… so the cadets do not feel we are being unfair." Tarkin said and Palpatine nodded.

"A wise plan. I know some within my ranks have such skills as I trained them to survive anything. I shall enquire among the rest." he said. Turning his focus on Daala he enquired "I presume you are receiving training now?" he asked.

"Yes Majesty." she said.

"Very good." Palpatine said. Turning his focus once again on Tarkin he said "We shall reconvene on this matter once I have spoken to those around me."

"As you wish Sire." Tarkin said, giving a bow before he left the room.

Lying sprawled across the black satin sheets, Ysanne Isard regarded her lover with a confused expression. What the kriff had got into him? Did he think her some simple domestic? She was utterly baffled by his question. "Do I what?" she asked.

"Cook Ysanne, it's a simple question." Palpatine responded a tad tersely.

"Of course not. Why would I waste my time with such menial pursuits?" she asked annoyed, rolling onto her belly and propping her head in her hands to fix him with a sharp glare from her mismatched eyes.

"Knowing the basics at least is an essential skill, especially in this time of war. If you wish to rely on droids after you learn how, so be it… but you will learn." Palpatine commanded.

"And I suppose you mean to tell me you cook?" Isard asked irritably.

"I seldom have time for it anymore, but yes I know how." Palpatine responded calmly, not rising to Isard's baiting. That quickly took the wind from her sails.

"I can't say I ever imagined you in such… domestic pursuits." Isard admitted, genuinely surprised. "I suppose I can learn if you are the one who will be teaching me." she said more agreeably.

"I will be enlisting the help of a few others to broaden the skill base, but yes, I shall be instructing you." Palpatine confirmed.

"Who else?" Isard asked warily. She had a suspicion she would not like this part of things.

"Grand Moff Tarkin who brought this issue to my attention in the first place, Mara Jade and perhaps a few others once I learn who can and can not cook within the Palace." Palpatine said, observing her reaction and how her face fell at the mention of Mara Jade. The two had taken an instant dislike of each other. Certainly this lesson would prove entertaining if nothing else.

"Why _her_?" Isard asked disdainfully.

"Because I know she is skilled in cooking with anything." Palpatine explained.

"And just _where_ would she gain such skills?" Isard asked sharply. Palpatine shrugged.

"It matters not where she gained them. Only that she possesses such skill." he said.

"I beg to differ Sire." Isard responded, but he would not engage her. Instead he stood and collected his robes, dressing and ignoring her. "Sire?" she repeated questioningly.

"Get dressed Ysanne. I will summon you when a time has been arranged." he responded coolly, walking from the room and leaving her to her own devices.

Mara gave a long suffering glare to Roganda Ismaren, which the other woman met with an all too sweet smile. "You don't look dressed for joining the lesson. Not unless you want to ruin that pretty dress." Mara commented.

"Ha, I won't be joining your stupid little lesson. I already know all this and then some." Roganda responded haughtily.

"Then I presume you are instructing along with me?" Mara responded.

"Hardly." Roganda said. "No I am neither participating nor instructing. His Majesty has excepted me from this." Roganda said. Mara rolled her eyes and muttered under her breath.

"Wonder why." she grumbled to herself.

"What was that Jade?" Roganda asked annoyed, having heard Mara's little barb.

"Just wondering how much-" Mara broke off her comment but the implication was there "Forgive me, that was rude. I was just wondering how you managed to exempt yourself from this. You must have put an extra effort in today." she added smirking.

"How uncouth." Roganda commented disgusted and wandered off while Mara hooted with laughter. As Isard strode into the room Mara straightened her posture and quickly sobered her laughter, lest the Director assume it was aimed at her. Her quieting was not quick enough however.

"What's so funny Jade?" Isard snapped. Mara bowed her head in deference, even if she technically ranked above the Director. It was not worth provoking a fight over.

"Forgive me Madam Director. I was baiting Roganda a moment before you arrived. I was laughing at her discomfort and irritation with my words." Mara explained.

"Oh her." Isard said disgusted.

"I see we are of the same opinion on this matter." Mara commented.

"Apparently." Isard remarked, a slight smirk forming. Tarkin and Daala were the next to arrive, with Isard shooting the pair a disgusted look both for the impropriety of them being together so obviously in what was an affair, judging by the closeness with which they held themselves, and for starting this mess in the first place. Pestage entered shortly after, looking rather perturbed. Finally Palpatine himself entered the room, a Royal Guardsmen flanking him on either side. Reflexively everyone gathered dropped into a bow at his arrival, but he quickly gave a dismissive wave of his hand.

"Enough. Such formalities are uncalled for and will only cause inconvenience in this." he sighed and waited as the odd group gathered rose, no one quiet sure to respond. Mara seemed the most at ease, having been tutored under him in various areas already.

"What are we going to be teaching them how to make Sire?" Mara asked.

"Tonight I shall teach them how to make… cookies." Palpatine said.

"As you wish Sire." Mara said, hurrying to collect up the needed supplies from around the room. Once everything was gathered and set out across the counter, Mara shifted to give her Master the floor, slipping off to the corner of the room. In part she didn't want to get in his way, but she also wished to be out of strike range for when things inevitably went wrong.

"Now, this is what we will be making." Palpatine said, motioning to a data pad which Mara had prompted upright on the counter "And none of you shall leave here tonight until you have mastered this. Do I make myself clear?" he asked. Everyone expect the motionless guards nodded. Palpatine glared at them "That includes you two." he said. The pair each gave a single stoic nod of understanding. "Now we shall divide into groups to expedite this process. You Daala shall remain with Tarkin, who will also instruct one of the guards. Mara you will also instruct a guard alongside Pestage. Ysanne, I shall be teaching you."

"Yes my Lord." Isard said stepping forward, pleased at least it would not be Mara teaching her.

"Now just follow the directions here. You are capable of doing that much are you not Ysanne?" Palpatine asked. Isard glared but did not respond, as she glanced at the instructions. It seemed simple enough. Why the kriff he felt the need for this lesson was beyond her. Irritably she grabbed the supplies listed and began throwing them into a bowl half-heartedly, when she felt Palpatine's hand on her arm abruptly. "What are you doing?" he asked, his voice low with threat. Isard shrugged.

"Making these kriffing cookies, since it pleases you Sire." she responded irritably.

"Then do it right Ysanne." Palpatine snapped at her.

"What did I do wrong?" Isard asked, now baffled. She'd been following the directions as best she could tell. Pointing to the whole egg she had tossed in the bowl, Palpatine levitated it so it was back in her hand.

"You break that." he said frustrated. Isard shrugged and smashed the egg and dropped it shell and all into the bowl. "Not like that you kriffing moron!" he yelled losing his patience with her.

"Then how?" Isard snapped back annoyed.

"Remove that mess of an egg you made." Palpatine commanded, energy cracking between his fingers. Either she didn't notice or she didn't care, as she remained obstinate.

"No. This is stupid. The whole kriffing thing is stupid. When am I ever going to need this?" Isard grumbled.

"Still your tongue Ysanne." Palpatine warned. When Isard opened her mouth to protest further, she was rapidly silenced by a blast a force lightning. Everyone else in the room had frozen and stood watching. "Get back to work." Palpatine snapped at them. Turning to Isard who was just getting up from where the blast had knocked her he asked "Have you any further complaint Ysanne?" She bowed her head subdued.

"No my Lord." she said.

"Good, then let us continue." Palpatine said.

Several hours later after several burnt batches of cookies, and additional rounds of force lightning whenever someone failed or questioned the task, three trays of perfect Order 66 cookies lay cooling. Everyone was tired and more than a little on edge, but none dared voice any complaint anymore. Finally Isard broached the question everyone was thinking, but dared not ask. "Are we done now my Lord?" she asked, shooting a glare at everyone else.

"What? No, we need to decorate these." Palpatine said. Isard gave him an incredulous look, but shrugged.

"As you wish." she said. "Where do we start?" she asked. Palpatine pressed a tube of red gel into one of her hands and a container of black powder and a brush into her other.

"Use the powder to make the carbon scoring, and the gel for the blood." he instructed. Motioning the two Royal guards over he handed them similar supplies. "You two decorate as well." he ordered. The guards looked at each other for a moment before shrugging and taking the supplies, each grabbing a tray of cookies and began decorating. Observing Palpatine was pleased.

"You have done well my young apprentices." he commented, studying the finished cookies. "As this has taken far longer than I anticipated due to the incompetence of some of you, we shall continue our lessons in the morning. I shall not attend myself, but I will leave you in the capable hands of Grand Moff Tarkin and Mara Jade who shall teach you the rest of what you must learn." Palpatine said. "Guards, Ysanne, with me if you will. Mara I shall send you a note to your data pad of what I wish covered- you as well Tarkin. I expect any failures will be punished harshly. For now you are all dismissed." he said, exiting the room with the pair of guards falling into step along side him, Isard trailing behind. Glancing at her chrono, Mara made her way to her chambers. It was late and she had no doubt tomorrow would be an early and long day. As much as she preferred not to think on what went on in her Master's chambers at night with Isard, she could only hope he wore her out a bit so she wasn't quite so difficult to deal with.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: You can probably guess by this chapter I really am a cook. As a heads up I do have Mara discuss butchering small game so if you are very squeamish you might want to skip over that. The information however is based off hands on experience so it's fairly accurate if anyone is curious about it. While I haven't tried it myself yet, the info on cooking bugs is based of watching someone do it, so yes, that is decently accurate too. I'm debating if I add one final chapter to this or leave it as is. What do you guys think? Please read and review and let me know if you want another chapter or not. :)_

Mara groaned as her alarm went off, throwing a pillow over her head and hitting the snooze button before finally managing to drag herself from the bed. She was not looking forward to today. Not the slightest. Washing and dressing quickly she made her way to the kitchens, wishing she were killing something instead of this. Spotting Tarkin she glared at him. "I hope you are happy with yourself." she grumbled.

"Quite." Tarkin responded calmly. Mara shook her head and slumped against the counter as she waited for everyone to arrive. Daala was first of course. Not spotting Mara at first she lept into Tarkin's arms and kissed him, confirming the rumours were true.

"Morning Wilhuff." she said smiling. Mara made a face and cleared her throat, at which point Daala quickly disentangled herself from Tarkin and had the good grace to blush a little at being caught.

"Lets save that for private shall we?" Mara said, oddly grateful for the arrival of Pestage, a man she typically despised, for the simple fact it ensured there would be no repeats of that little incident. There were things she was quite happy not to know about people, led alone witness.

"Morning Jade." he grunted.

"Didn't get your morning caf Pestage?" Mara jibbed. "Too bad. Neither did I." she grumbled.

"If I might… I propose we make some as part of this lesson." Tarkin said.

"Don't see what's stopping you." Mara said a tad tersely. Tarkin simply shrugged and started preparing the caf while they waited on Isard to arrive. It was just finishing brewing when she staggered in, more than fashionably late, looking like something the nexu dragged in. She looked even more wild eyed and feral than normal, and Tarkin and Mara exchanged a glance. Understanding the look from Mara, Tarkin quickly poured and handed Isard a mug of caf. She grunted and took the mug, nursing it between her hands and inhaling the scent and sipping the brew. Noting the pair of Royal Guard standing a few paces back from Isard, Mara eyed them. "I suppose you are here for this lesson too?" she asked. A single nod from each. Frowning Mara decided that wouldn't do. "You do know how to speak don't you?" she asked annoyed. Another nod. "Then kriffing do it!" she snapped.

"We are not permitted to speak on duty ma'am." the guard on the left said finally, his voice muffled by the helmet. Mara sighed.

"You aren't on duty now technically are you?" she inquired. The two guards looked at each other and shrugged.

"We generally are on duty now… our orders were not clarified as to regulations. We were simply told to accompany the Director and attend." the guard on the right said.

"We would prefer to maintain protocol and not speak while in uniform." the left guard explained. Mara blew out a calming breath before she spoke.

"Fine, whatever." she sighed. "Madam Director if you are back in the land of the living we will get started." she directed at Isard. The Director shot a vicious glare at Mara.

"I don't take orders from you." she snapped.

"Unless you are ordered by His Majesty… as you are right now." Tarkin reminded her, stepping in between the two women before things could escalate.

"Whatever." Isard grumbled. "Let's get this over with." she sighed.

"As this was my idea, and it is still morning, we will start with a basic breakfast of fried eggs, nerf sausage and fried tubers." Tarkin said, giving a slight nod at Mara who moved to collect the supplies after shooting him a glare. Idly Tarkin wondered as he waited for Mara to collect what was needed which woman was imagining a more painful death for him… the Emperor's Hand for his part in having pulled her from espionage and assassination to teach basic cooking, or the Director for being dragged into this lesson. Pondering it he decided the latter was probably angrier with her lover than with him. "We will start by chopping the tubers as they require the longest to cook. Ysanne if you would?" Tarkin said, wondering if it was such a good idea to hand the woman a knife while murderous intent still showed in her eyes, but shrugged it off. Palpatine had given his orders that Isard was to do the more difficult tasks at least once. Best to get it out of the way early as he anticipated her mood would not improve as the day wore on. Taking the knife from him she brandished it at him as she glared at him venomously.

"You will address me by my title from now on. We are _not_ friends Tarkin- not even close." she warned.

"As you wish Madam Director." Tarkin said calmly, refusing to let her ruffle him. He knew if he showed any sign of weakness she would make his life hell. She glared a moment longer, her crimson eye seeming to burn like molten lava, then schooled her expression to one of resigned acceptance when she saw he was not going to back down.

"Fine. What am I doing?" she asked. Tarkin motioned to the tubers Mara had laid out on the counter.

"You will be chopping those into cubes." he said. Isard debated arguing but in the end resigned herself to the task. Anything to please her lover she thought bitterly. As she sliced the tubers she imagined cutting Tarkin into little tiny pieces instead.

"That's small enough Madam Director." he said interrupting her pleasant musings.

"Oh, are you sure?" she asked, and Tarkin's expression shifted to one of alarm amusing her further. Well perhaps this could be fun.

"Quite." Tarkin responded, eager to remove any sharp implements from the Director's reach. She was frightening enough while she was raging… he was quite certain he did not want to know what had made her smile. "Now if you will add some oil to the pan and toss the tubers in and cook them over a low heat. When they start to brown add this seasoning mix. Isard frowned. That wasn't nearly as fun. Still, she acquiesced to his orders. No sense prolonging this. She had scarcely managed to drag herself here and had not eaten anything as yet… thus she was hungry and motivated to listen for the moment. Tarkin blew out a sigh of relief when Isard did not fight him further and did as she was told for once. "Daala, you can begin heating the nerf sausage in that pan there. When it is mostly browned you can move them to one side of the pan and crack several eggs then cover the pan for a few minutes while they cook. By that time the tubers should be cooked and we can eat." he instructed. Daala did as she was told cheerfully, a pleasant contrast to the Director who was still shooting intermittent glares at him.

As she cooked Daala began to hum and Isards ire became directed towards her from Tarkin. Mara was the first to notice, quietly keeping tabs on the emotional state of the room through the Force. Noting Isard's hand sliding towards her blaster, Mara slipped silently so stand beside Tarkin and tapped his shoulder nodding towards Isard. His eyes widened in alarm for a moment as he realized her intent, then quickly schooled his face into a stern expression. "There will be no violence in this kitchen. Do I make myself clear Madam Director?" Tarkin asked. Isard shrugged.

"I don't know what you mean." she said calmly.

"Your blaster Madam Director. I will be taking it for the duration of this lesson." Tarkin said. Isard scowled but relinquished the weapon. It wasn't the only weapon on her person in any case. As she handed it to him, he cleared his throat and amended himself.

"All your blasters I mean." he said. Her eyes flashed in rage and she set her jaw tightly. "I mean it… or shall I inform His Majesty you were uncooperative?" Tarkin asked. Her expression was one of fury, and he rather expected she would be seeking her vengeance on him soon, but she handed over her holdout and concealed blasters. Glancing discreetly at Mara as he set the blasters a safe distance away, she gave a faint nod confirming the Director was not hiding any further weapons. Feeling slightly safer he turned his attention to Daala as smoke began to waft his way.

"I think it's done." Daala muttered, having at least the sense to turn off the element as she fanned the smoke away. Glancing in the frying pan Tarkin saw rather blackened nerf links and rubbery looking eggs that were very well done.

"That it is." Tarkin sighed.

"Can I assume this is done too then?" Isard inquired, motioning to her pan. Taking a quick look at the contents he was relieved at least one of the two had managed to follow instruction.

"Yes. If you turn the element off we can now eat." Tarkin said.

"Assuming what Daala prepared is remotely eatable." Isard grumbled. Daala glared fiercely at Isard, then at Tarkin when he failed to defend her. From her spot in the corner observing everything, Mara fought the urge to laugh.

Once they had eaten breakfast, which proved mostly palatable with generous amounts of salt and various condiments to mask the charcoal taste, washed down by a lot of caf, Mara took the floor. "As I am to teach foraging as well as cooking, for the first part we will make our way into the mountains." she said. Both Isard and Daala gave her a skeptical look.

"What exactly are we looking for there?" Isard asked. Shrugging Mara responded.

"Anything eatable. Plants, small game, insects-"

"Bugs? You plan to have us eat _bugs_?" Daala asked making a face.

"I second that." Isard grumbled.

"Look you two can agree on something." Mara remarked amused, evoking a glare from the pair "But in any case, that's what my orders are so that is what we are doing." she said. Nodding at Isard, Mara commented "If it makes you feel any better you'll have your blaster back and we will probably be killing things." Isard smiled faintly.

"Yes I suppose that does make me feel a little better." she said.

"Well then, shall we go. You can collect your blasters on the way out Madam Director." Mara said.

As they made their way to the Manarai mountains, Mara lectured on identifying eatable plants, though she sensed Isard was paying more attention to which plants were toxic or hallucinogenic. She was glad anything prepared would be shared by all of them. Isard would not be so fool as to try poison her when she herself would be eating the food. When they arrived, Mara nodded to the group "Ok, spread out. The more ground we cover the sooner we can cook this and eat." she said. No one argued with her for once. "We will meet back here in one hour, and I will check anything you found." she said. As the group dispersed she herself set out to make sure there was at least some food to prepare, having done this many times in survival training. Moving silently along the ridge she kept her ears alert for the tell tale rustle of dried grass that would give away her quarry. It didn't take long before she heard a faint crack and spun quickly towards it, her blaster on it's lowest setting. She fired a single shot killing the rodent then collected it into the coolant laced bag she had brought. Overturning rocks she found assorted grubs. Discarding those she knew produced a hallucinogenic slime when stressed, she tossed the others into a small bag. Finally she gathered up various greens and added them to the bag. Glancing at her chrono she saw the meeting time was near and made her way back down the mountain. Isard was waiting for her holding the mangled remains of several carcasses which had been clearly shot at close range on a high blaster setting, looking rather pleased with herself and unphased by the gore splattering her uniform. Mara guessed she had seen and inflicted far worse on her fellow humans, so this was probably nothing to her. The pair of guards arrived next, each with a decent mix of things. Considering the guards training she supposed they had done this before like her. Tarkin arrived next, followed shortly by Daala. Observing the pair, and Daala's empty hands in addition to the twigs in her long hair, Mara quickly concluded what had happened and shot Tarkin a vicious glare. "Seriously?" she asked annoyed. Tarkin shrugged and Mara gave a noise of disgust and frustration. "Men." she muttered, and observed Isard rolling her eyes too, having not missed what was occurring.

"Least some of us are useful." Isard remarked, causing Daala to glare and Mara to agree.

"Right, shall we get back to the Palace and cook these things?" Tarkin asked intervening before a fight broke out.

"Actually my instructions are we are to cook out here." Mara corrected him "As you and Daala failed to procure any food, perhaps you can manage gathering some wood and starting a fire- without getting distracted?" she asked tersely, her green eyes casting a warning glare.

"Of course my dear." Tarkin said and Mara's scowl deepened.

"Don't my dear me if you know what is good for you." she warned. "Now those who actually found food- lay it out and we can clean and prep it." she said addressing the rest of the group. Eying Isard's mangled carcasses she decided it would best to demonstrate this on the hardest examples. "Alright, generally one doesn't blast the hell out of their prey. Usually you use the lowest setting needed to get the job done. However, in this case it does save the hassle of removing the head, as the Director has so nicely blown it off." Mara said, not quite managing to keep the sarcasm from her voice. Isard barked a laugh however, so she figured she was fine and continued speaking. "The first thing we want to do is dress it. This should be done as soon as possible after a kill." Mara explained, pulling out a vibroblade and feeling for the end of the keel before cutting open the belly of what she guessed was a thrantcill, judging by the wings, though it was possible it was a hawk-bat too. It mattered little to her. "Once you open it up, you just reach in and pull out all the guts. Some of them like the heart, liver and kidneys you can wash and eat if you are especially hungry, but today we won't bother." she said as she demonstrated, glad at least to have an audience who was unaffected by blood and guts. She imagined trying to teach this to some of the prim ladies of the Court, or Force-forbid, Roganda. They would faint no doubt. "Now we just hang and rinse it to get rid of any extra blood and for a creature like this, skinning is optional before you cook it. For something like this-" Mara said, pulling a bloodrat from her bag "You will need to skin it as well as gut it. The easiest way to do this is make a cut down the belly being careful not to press too hard and rupture the guts. If you start your cut just below the throat and insert your blade facing upwards it's easier to do. Once you've done that, just peel the skin back with your fingers, cutting where you need to." she said. Tossing the blade at Isard, Mara said "Now you try." The Director did as she was told without protest, though Mara suspected that had less to do with her wanting to be co-operative and more that Isard enjoyed getting her hands dirty and working with knives.

By the time all the game was prepped, Tarkin and Daala had returned with wood and managed to get a fire going. Skewering the various game by size roughly on a spit she had fashioned, Mara roasted the creatures over the fire, removing each as it cooked. As Isard's avian creature neared done, Mara pulled out a pan and her bag of grubs and tossed them into the pan, leaving Isard to keep an eye on her kill. Holding the pan over the fire Mara continued her lesson as she roasted the bugs "I'm using a pan, but if you lack any utensils, one can also wrap grubs in a large leaf and cook it over the hot embers near the edge of the fire just as well." she said. Once the bugs were crisped nicely, Mara had Daala help her sort the greens and fashion a salad of sorts from them which she topped off with the roasted grubs. After checking it was cooked, Mara removed the avian creature from the fire and sat on a log, laying the food out on some broad waxy leaves she had gathered to act as plates. "Alright, lunch is served. Dig in." she said. Isard, Tarkin and Daala eyed the bug topped salad skeptically, though the guards sampled some without qualm. With their helmets off the guards were more willing to converse.

"Not bad." the one guard- Jesh Nayran, Mara had learned his name was, commented. The other guard, Zaan Horsyn nodded in agreement.

"Kinda nutty almost. Goes well with the greens." he said. Digging in herself, Mara smirked.

"Guess these game fowl don't know what they are missing. Not brave enough to try something new." she said, goading the others. That was enough to push Isard and Daala to try some, neither keen to be shown up by Mara. Tarkin however remained unaffected by her barbs.

"If you don't think about what you are eating, it actually doesn't taste too bad. A little bland, but eatable." Isard admitted as she ate some of the salad. "The same applies to bloodrat. If one can forget they are eating vermin… it tastes somewhat like game fowl."

"You really should try some Wilhuff." Daala prodded him. Mara and Isard's gaze met each others amused as Tarkin squirmed both at Daala's informality with him in front of the others and not wanting to tell her no, but not keen to obey her wishes either.

"Perhaps later." said, hoping she would forget the matter, but Daala was not easily deterred.

"Isn't this about gaining experience?" she asked and Tarkin sighed. Daala had him cornered logically, and given the amused glances he was getting from the other women he knew he would get no support from them. Even the guards had taken note and were trying to cover their snickers with coughs.

"So it is." he sighed, gingerly taking a mouthful. His stomach churned as he tried not to think about what was in his mouth as he chewed. As he forced himself to swallow Daala looked chuffed.

"See that wasn't so bad now was it Wilhuff." she said. Isard could not resist throwing in a little jab at the situation.

"Your subordinate is awfully casual with you Tarkin." she observed "You need to work on your discipline for breach of protocol."

"Oh I am sure he does just fine with discipline…" Mara muttered, causing a snort of laughter from Isard.

"Nah he's too whipped. If anyone wears the pants-"

"That will do Madam Director." Tarkin interrupted her, well aware of where she was going with that. "If we are done here I propose we make our way back to the Palace before sundown. We can take a break from lessons and reconvene at 1700." he said.

"Wonder why he needs a break." Isard muttered under her breath.

"Perhaps to work on discipline." Mara suggested, smirking as Tarkin glared at them. As much as their barbs irritated him he knew he could not say or do anything to either of them to shut them up. Both were far too close to the Emperor to risk it, and downright lethal in their own right. Opting to ignore their mocking, he began retracing their steps back to the Palace, with Daala by his side. Isard and Mara provided a running commentary behind him, getting along for once over their shared annoyance of him. The pair of guards brought up the rear. Today had been a long day and he would be very glad when it was over.


End file.
